The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
