East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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