Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
