so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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