Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
