I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
