He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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