So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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