Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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