Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
