my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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