If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
