i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
