I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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