the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
