so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
