I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
from now on my penis is your penis
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
zippers are such a cool invention
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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