girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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