you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
