Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
