Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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