Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
