I understand Curling. That high.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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