You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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