So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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