It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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