No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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