he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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