Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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