So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
