My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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