I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
