Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
