i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
