hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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