Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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