He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
