We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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