I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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