He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
