If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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