You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
