I am puke
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
