do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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