Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
