READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Liz is crying about burritos again.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
