just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Are we still banned from the library?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
