I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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