She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
