so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
